I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Randomize
