my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Randomize
