I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
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