At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
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