Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
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