HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
Randomize
