At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
