yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
