how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Randomize
