The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
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