Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
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