Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
Randomize
