well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
