If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
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