Dual....:-)
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
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