y did u give ur computer a hand job?
I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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