I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Randomize
