..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Randomize
