Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
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