I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
Randomize
