$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
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