I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
my liver is dry heaving
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Randomize
