hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
What a dumb baby whore.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Randomize
