Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon�
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
