I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
meet me or not, i'm out of control
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
