it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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