I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Randomize
