I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
Randomize
