Well apparently he's into motor boating.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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