it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
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