Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
i've created a new STD.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
