I wanna passion pit in your ass
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
