I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
