this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Randomize
