too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
