I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
Randomize
