why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
Randomize
