Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
My vagina just recognized that song.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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