Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Randomize
