Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Randomize
