I hate all girls vehemently.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
