thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
