apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
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