i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
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