found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
