Are we in a gay sports bar?
now i know why i became what i already was.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
only you would photoshop your dick
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
