haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
Did I show you my penis last night?
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
