eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
Randomize
