i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
Randomize
