im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
You can't just leave with hair like that
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Randomize
