in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize
