i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
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